Ouch

I'm pretty sure my friend Matthew musically bitchslapped me in his post entitled "Mr. Zimmerman". In case you don't know, he's talking about Bob Dylan:

He's the best we've got. He's among the best we'll ever get. And if you're one of those people who scrunches up her face (it's always a woman who does this) and says, "I just don't like his voice," then you don't deserve music. Go listen to ABBA for the rest of your life and die happy in the middle of "Waterloo" or something else that's totally meaningless.


Ouch.


p.s. if you're checking out his blog, please watch his links to Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondents dinner. It is pure magic.

Love is...never having to say...Whaaaat?

Every day on the way to work, I pass an ad at the bus stop at Vine and Beverly. It's for the new Cartier collection: Love. They show a big circular object, which I assumed was a ring. They also showed a little screwdriver that presumably goes along with the piece of jewelry. Day in and day out...I cannot figure out what the screwdriver is for. I went to the website...still can't figure it out. So I emailed the folks at Cartier and asked them. Much to my surprise, I received a response about three hours after I emailed them. They said:

The advertisement if for the Love bracelet and screwdriver pendant. The pendant opens up the bracelet which has actual screws on either side which need to be removed to put the bracelet on and take it off.

Doh. That almost makes sense. Guess it would help to know what love is all about. If, of course, Love meant never having the ability to remove a piece of jewelry unless your partner had a 24K custom screwdriver to get that piece of gold off of your wrist.

Oh Thank Heaven?

I love 7-11. I live 7-11. I just wanted to get that out in the open before the rest of my blog hits the cyber-sphere.

No, this rant isn't about the fact that my 7-11 (momentarily) ditched Diet Dr. Pepper in their fountain bank for the Diet Black Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. After a conversation with the owner, he put the DDP back in...all is well...or so I thought.

OK. First problem I have is with the INCESSANT radio commercial that 7-11 runs on the station I listen to every morning. It's for some sort of pizza-stick that I can't think of the name of. The commercial has some monks in a monastary singing/chanting about the pizza stick. How they "can't believe" that they're eating it. And how they're "so busted." I am so incredibly OVER this commercial that I promise to never ever EVER taste this culinary delight. If I were to come up with the name, of course.

Here's another problem. I love reality TV. I love 7-11 (as previously mentioned). And I love pizza. My question. Do we really need the P'eatZZa? A few weeks back on The Apprentice, they had to market this new, for lack of a better word, sandwich. Seriously...pizza is perfect as is. In my opinion, adding crap like lettuce and additional meat onto the WRONG SIDE of the slice is just wrong. W.R.O.N.G. There must be some sort of internal 7-11 promotion going on because my local 7-11 had all sorts of signage and samples. I tried it, for the sake of 7-11 and reality TV...and bleh. Pizza doesn't need any changes. It's fucking perfect the way that it is.

New Fans

Until today, I thought that the only people that read my blog were my friends Bean and Gina. However, it turns out that the kids from Square One Dining found my blog (damned linkbacks!). They told Shannon, and Matthew overheard. The pressure is now almost too intense...

Reality Wrap-Up

I've been a bit delinquent with regard to my Reality TV watching, and for the sake of this blog, commenting. So let's get this party started.

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

OK, Brooke is out. That's not my concern. First of all, did this really happen on national television between a "model" and her mother?

So her mom is some sort of energy worker, but c'mon.

Next - did we ever expect to see something this gnarly on a reality TV show about modeling? EIGHTEEN HOURS in a dentist chair? Yow!








THE AMAZING RACE

Thank god for the non-elimination round! Because of this, my favorite players, BJ and Tyler get to make it another week. How can you not love these guys? They are happy-go-lucky, positive and just awesome to have on my television. While searching for photos from them, I found out interesting things about each of them. BJ is a Harvard graduate. And looks so much like Chris Robinson from the Black Crowes! Tyler walked across China in a Forrest Gump sortof way and made a movie about it. I love these guys. I hope they go all the way.



SURVIVOR

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce. I'm guessing this is not the way that you hoped to leave the game. Who wants to admit on national TV that they haven't pooped in almost two weeks??

TOP CHEF

Hi Harold, I think I love you.

Sheer Mabness!

Congratulations go out to coworker, fellow blogger and friend, Gina! In addition to being an all around good person, she is also an incredibly talented artist. In fact, she is the FEATURED ARTIST at an up-and-coming art website called Virtual Canvas.

Restored connection to outside world

Props and thanks to my landlord for re-re-wiring the re-wiring that he did last week which caused me to have no contact with the outside world via a DSL line. I'm baaaaaaaaacccccccccccck. And not in a Terrell Owens sort of way.

Now that I can read fine quality articles on the internet again, I need to direct your attention to this amazing article from The Onion. It succinctly describes the warm and fuzzy mother/daughter relationship, and affirms why I will never have children.

Bye, bye Lake

I finally watched the most recent episode of the Amazing Race...and I can't begin to tell you how happy I am that Lake and Michelle are gone. I feel sorry for her - being in such an abusive relationship. He is an absolute ass. It just figures that he's a dentist. Bye, bye Lake. By the way, thanks for shaving your beard.

P.S. If anyone has the stomach to watch their "parting words", let me know what they're saying. I don't have it in me.

As promised

As mentioned in an earlier post, the LA Times reviewed Square One Dining. The story couldn't have been any better if Phil had written it himself.

The place has been jammed ever since. I'm so happy for them. I just hope I can get a seat...


"...elevates breakfast to an indulgence."
"...should the hungry resist? Of course not."
"...the hollandaise is flawless."
"...the service couldn't be more accommodating or the vibe, more, well, neighborly."
"It's good to know if you sleep in on the weekend — or, for that matter, almost any day of the week, even well into the afternoon — there's still somewhere to get breakfast, a friendly smile and a good, strong cup of joe."

Well, shit.

Broooooooooooooooooooooooce!

I had the good fortune last week to attend a listening party for Bruce Springsteen's upcoming album, "We Shall Overcome - The Seeger Sessions."

I found out about the party by accident, online, and sent my email off to the Sony Music email gods, hoping for a response...which I received a few days later. They were having the party at a local Hollywood old school dive called Boardner's. The locale of the event was a bit weird. Nowhere to sit, only standing room, and it took place in the courtyard.

I went by myself, not knowing anyone in LA (who was available) who loves Bruce like I do. I was wallflowering by myself when I was noticed by Debbie, who I'd met many years ago through a LABSFan gathering.

We patiently waited for the event to begin, while eating free food and drinking free drinks. (No problem there.) Eventually, a fetus showed up and explained that we would be seeing a bit of a video that will be included in the DualDisc of the album. It was a "making of" the album. Needless to say, it was all hand-held, therefore transporting me back to the last few days that I've spent outside of the confines of my own home. It was cool (even though I was near puking) and set up the event. For anyone who is interested, some of this footage is viewable online.

The played all but two of the songs on the album. I was skeptical when I first heard months ago that Bruce was doing this concept album...then I saw a picture of the band was was intrigued.

I wish I could say I got a good listen to the album. The venue was not really listening-friendly and most people stood around and chatted. I grabbed a location and sat myself down, trying to take in all that I could. I good a "good enough" listen. The album was definitely different - it almost sounded like a "Springsteen goes to Mardi Gras" feel. Fitting that the tour starts off at Jazz Fest in N'awlins.

A few songs into the event, I noticed an old Sony co-worker of mine, doing the traditional "I wonder if I leave if anyone will notice" boogaloo. So, yes, Gary Cruse, if you're reading this, I know you left before the event was over. You didn't recognize me, but I recognized you.

They handed out postcards during the event...which are rather uneventful, although as a marketing person, I recognize the first use of the phrase IN STORES AND ONLINE. Impressive.
They hande

Parking Ticket

Grr. I got a parking ticket yesterday for parking on a street during street cleaning day/hours. (When I am queen, I will have street cleaning day the same as trash pickup. So that the bins can be on the curb and because there will be no cars blocking them, the trash men will take them! But that is another subject entirely.) Next time I should save myself five bucks and park on the sidewalk.

We have a new president!

Congratulations to President-Elect Matthew Santos, the Congressman from Texas.

And unfortunately, we also lost a great American, Leo McGarry.
A few weeks ago I filled out one of those email questionnaires that asked "When was the last time you cried?" I answered: "I honestly can't remember." I now have to retract that statement and say: "Last night, all during The West Wing." John Spencer, R.I.P.

It's hip to be square

Yesterday, I dropped by my new favorite breakfast and lunch spot, Square One Dining. I got the buttermilk chicken breast sandwich with their yummy salsa verde. Everything at the place is amazing. The LA foodbloggers are all over it and yesterday, the freaking Los Angeles Times was there photographing the restaurant and food for an upcoming calendar profile piece! I might just go back this morning and get the grits with cheddar and bacon...

Full disclosure: The restaurant is owned by my friend Phil and his business partners, Robert and Hayden. I designed all of their menus, outdoor and indoor signage and that beautiful website. :)

For the love of all that is holy...

That title can only mean that I just got around to watching this week's episode of America's Next Top Model. I was so sorry to see Mollie Sue leave. However, you can only sit around and talk about how amazing your personality is as long as you actually HAVE ONE. Hellloooooo.

Jade needs to go. Not only is she a manipulative beeyotch, she can't deliver lines on a stupid Cover Girl commercial. I so thrilled to see her in the bottom two...but yet...she'll be on my freaking TV next week. Christ on a bike.

ETA: It was nice to see my Groundlings teacher, Jeremy Rowley, trying to teach these sticks with heads how to do improv.

Behind Andy's Camel

Last night, I was fortunate enough to be one of a few hundred people at the Arclight screening of "Everyone Stares: The Police Inside Out," which is a documentary film of the legendary band The Police. It was shot/edited/everything by drummer Stewart Copeland.

I loved The Police. I can't tell you how much. When I lived in Maryland, I drove to Philadelphia to see them. I drove to New York (Long Island somewhere, I think) to go to an Andy Summers book signing. I went to a polo match at the Potomac Polo club to see Stewart Copeland play. Hardcore.

This movie is for the hardcore. It's, as Stewart put it, a "home movie." Nothing more, nothing less. There are all sorts of cool and amazing candid bits (Sting teaching Andy "Driven to Tears" was way too amazing, along with the Zenyatta Mondatta photo shoot, Stewart talking to the camera during a show, etc.) that could not have been captured by anyone but one of the band members.

Luckily, I dropped a dram (took a dramamine) before the show, so that I didn't have a repeat of Sunday's motion sickness fiasco. And thank god I did. I would have totally puked about 6 seconds into the movie. It is truly a glimpse into the whirlwind of being one of the world's biggest bands.

After the movie, Stewart (I feel like calling him "Mr. Copeland" in a New York Times sortof way) did a question-and-answer session with the crowd. Some of the questions were respectful ("How long did it take you to edit the film?") and some were predictable ("Will there ever be a Police reunion?" - by the way, the answer was a firm NO.). The whole evening was a slice of life - just a peek into the world of one of my favorite bands of all time.

The name of this blogpost comes from what the "working title" of this movie was. Stewart mentioned that Andy always came up with the best titles of songs - one of his favorites was 'Behind My Camel.' However, the marketing folk got ahold of the title (dagnappit) and wanted it to be something more obviously Police-like. Hence: Everyone Stares: The Police Inside Out. Although I have a newfound affinity for "Behind Andy's Camel."

Footnote: guitarist Andy Summers was also in the audience. Having cut a deal with the devil - he looks exactly as he did 25 years ago, apparently he and Stewart still hang out and are friendly. Both Stewart and Andy were in the audience at the Arclight last night. In February, Sting was about ten feet from me at the MusiCares James Taylor event. Twenty years ago, if you would have told me that over the course of two months, I'd be within INCHES of all three members of The Police, I probably would have passed out.

The Grace Lee Project

I spent the afternoon at the oh-so-musky-smelling Laemmle Fairfax Theater seeing "The Grace Lee Project." It's an excellent documentary about a Korean-American named Grace Lee who a) discovers that her name is one of the most popular among Asian women and b) tries to decide whether or not all Grace Lees are interchangeable by meeting up with many Grace Lees. Serious and funny, and unfortunately for me, contains a lot of hand-held camerawork. I spent the last 20 minutes standing in the foyer, listening to the audio track, fanning myself trying to not throw up. I heart motion sickness.

I had seen something similar in concept a few years ago when UK comedian Dave Gorman went in search of others named Dave Gorman. It started as a bar bet and ended up a stage show, TV show and book. I was intrigued because I actually know a Dave Gorman.

On Dave Gorman's website (the UK comedian one) there is a link to a site called "Your Not Me" which, as Mr. Gorman says: allows you to search the electoral register to find out how many namesakes you have in a badly spelled apostrophe-free UK. I checked and there are only four of me in the UK. Thank god. Maybe one day I'll try and find 'em. But not tonight.

The $105 sneeze

I spent Saturday afternoon at my favorite new Saturday hangout...the vet. No, this isn't some sort of horrible zit reoccurence, but a new fun thing. Wednesday night at about 3am, Madison started sneezing. It was sortof cute-ish, like those people who have the cutest sneeze ever. It wasn't as cute on Thursday night or on Friday. By the time I took her to the vet on Saturday, she was starting to have the kitty equivalent of a stuffy nose. The good news is that the kitty acne had cleared up (and I must say that Madison was an excellent patient), but the bad news is that she now has a cold. She must have caught it at the vet office last week - although they tried to tell me that was impossible. They sent me out of there with more medicine and another three-figure bill. Aloha potential Maui trip...hello crazy cat lady.

I now have to give Boo liquid vitamins - hoping that she doesn't catch the cold from Madison. That's been OK so far. However, I feel like some sort of torturer giving Madison her medicine - and I don't mean it in a super-hot Naveen Andrews from Lost way - "You want to know who I am? My name is Sayid Jarrah, and I am a torturer." I mean it in a my cat has an ugly cold, can't breathe well, and not only am I shoving a dropper down her throat twice a day, I now have to put ointment INTO HER EYES three times a day way. Poor kitty.

Ebbing and Flowing

I made a promise to blog and then didn't post for a week. I hope I didn't disappoint all of my fan. Whoever you are. :)

In between the hectic week at work I did manage to watch a ton of TV. Out of order. So...

Thank YOU ANTM judges for booting Gina. So completely whiney and obnoxious. And with photos like this: I'm surprised she was in it as long as she was. Which was, what, three episodes? Now all they have to do is get rid of that bitch from hell Jade and I'll be much happier and calmer on Wednesday nights (or whenever I end up watching it).

As long as I'm on the TV tip, I just have to give a hate shout-out to Lake from Amazing Race. You know what I'm talking about.