You Aught-a Know

Continuing in the theme of Alanis lyrics...for no particular reason, although this has been on my mind. We are now officially into the eighth year of this decade. What is the name of this decade? In two or three years, when we want to reflect back upon these years, what will we call them? Almost every other decade is easy. The '60s, the '70s, the '80s.

A hundred years ago, it was referred to as the "turn of the century" or the "early nineteen hundreds." What will we say when we're talking about these years?

Remember Lindsay Lohan? She was always a target of the paparazzi back at the turn of the century.

I can't believe gas is so cheap now. Remember at the turn of the century is was three dollars a gallon?

It doesn't quite work. We have gone seven full years and no one has stepped forward and named the decade. I want to put in my vote. I'm a big fan of AUGHT. According to the Free Dictionary, it means "zero" (among other things). You can't call the decade the O's, because let's face it, that's what they call the Baltimore Orioles (or the Balmer Oreos).

When was American Idol popular? Oh that was back in the aughts, wasn't it?

Who's with me? If not, what do YOU think it should be?

Thank You, India

I don't usually quote lyrics by Alanis Morissette...but I just have to give mad props to some new friends of mine.

You see, I've been internet-ally challenged at my humble abode for quite awhile. The amount of time that my internet decides to work has been gradually depleting over the last few weeks...to the point that I only had about ten minutes' worth since Friday morning. And my landlord is out of town for a month or so. It's killin' me!

This morning, I decided I had had enough. I went to Staples and bought a wireless router and USB adapter for my computer. I have excellent DSL reception from the phone in my living room - which isn't convenient to my computer which is in another room entirely. It took two calls to Linksys technical support and one call to Yahoo DSL technical support for it all to work out. Thanks to my new friends, "Bill," "Julie" and "Another Fake American Sounding Name I Can't Remember," who helped bring me back into the computer age.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

We’ve been together for years – as long as I’ve been in Los Angeles. We saw each other through so many changes. He was there for me, I was there for him. We needed each other. Eventually, things started to go wrong. I would communicate my problems with him. He would always tell me that he’d work to make himself better for me.

Recently, I had had enough. He just wasn’t there for me anymore and he was taking money from me. I had to make a change. I found someone else.

When I told him I was breaking up with him, it was only at that point that he begrudgingly asked “Is there anything I can do to make you stay?” If only he had been that willing to help over the years...maybe it wouldn’t have come to this.

So, I bid you farewell, Time Warner Cable. Meet the new guy, DirecTV.

Resolve

One of the many things I dread about the holiday season is the whole "What's your resolution" BS. Why go through the motions of coming up with a million things that you may or may not adhere to for a few days? Which is why I have come up with the concept of resolutions that are based in reality...things that I will actually stick to!

This year's resolution...drum roll please...is...

I will brush my teeth using the full two-minute timer on my Sonicare.

I know, it sounds ridiculous, but I've recently started trying to just beat the clock, so to speak. Two minutes seems like a million years while you're brushing your teeth...even if it's broken up in 30-second intervals.

Wish me luck. And I wish you luck quitting smoking, exercising more, eating healthy, swearing less, or whatever resolutions you have.