Welcome to the Doll House
The LA Derby Doll House, that is. Yup, I’m talkin’ Roller Derby! All-Female Roller Derby!
I was introduced to this culture by my friend Phil, who became a little obsessed with Roller Derby some time in the last year. He’s made it his one-man mission to recruit as many of his friends as possible. Last month, I grumpily accepted his invitation to attend the bout. I had no idea what to expect.
The LA Derby Dolls have their very own roller rink, located downtown, right near Temple and Alvarado. The event was sold out, so we arrived about an hour early to secure our space in the grandstand. I took a wander through the midway – the place where the vendors set up their wares (anything from cookies and pizza to t-shirts, jewelry and crafts) and the band (!) plays during intermission and after the bout. I felt like an alien that had just be dropped into Lollapalooza years ago and wandered around like a little lost deer in the headlights of life. I had no idea that this scene existed...and being attended by a thousand people every month!
I watched the girls warm up on the rink while clutching my program, desperately trying to understand the rules of the game. Joy had tried to explain it to me earlier, utilizing straws to represent skaters. Between the straws and reading the program, I still had no idea how it worked. However, there’s nothing like the actual game to learn pretty quickly! I went from not knowing a thing about Roller Derby to two hours later being able to make comments such as, “No wonder we couldn’t score any points, our jammer couldn’t get past their defenders” and “Good move! She called the jam off!”
Last month, I saw the San Diego Swarm take on the LA Varsity Brawlers. It was a brutal game...and I’m not just talking about the action on the track! The Swarm swarmed all over the Brawlers. Not pretty. But alas, I think I was hooked.
So when the call went out for recruits to the March 28 battle, I was in. The Swarm would be playing again, this time up against LA’s Fight Crew. Phil got a new recruit for the event, Shannon, who joined Joy, Vanessa and me for the big night. She showed up at our meeting place and the first thing I noticed was her choice of footwear - heels. Before my first bout, a few important details were left out by my Derby Dealer. I accosted Shannon, “Did anyone tell you that you’re going to be STANDING all night, right?” While I was leading with the news, I threw in “And you have to pee in a porta-potty.” Two things I wish I had been told...not unmanageable obstacles if adequately prepared.
I had definitely been in Shannon’s shoes before. Well, not her high heels, but not knowing what to expect. Not knowing the rules of the game. And clearly not knowing what was in store. By now, I was a professional. I knew which line to get in. I knew to put a finger on my wrist when they went to “band” me, so that it wouldn’t get too tight. I knew to try and get a spot pretty high up so that we could get a good view of the track. After we found our space, I took Shannon down to the midway. It wasn’t as big as it was last time, so she missed out on some of the cool merch opportunities. But that didn’t lessen her enjoyment at all. All of us soaked it all in. The warm up. The dueling mascots (Giant Bee in a Mexican wrestling mask for the Swarm, and a Lobster for the Fight Crew). The selling of raffle tickets. The great music playing from the DJ. The people watching. The debate about pizza vs. hot dog on a stick. Cookies vs. a banana. These are not easy decisions, people!
Another great part of Roller Derby are the names of the players... Broadzilla, Judy Gloom, Janis Choplin, Tae Kwon Ho, and Mickispeedia play for two of the LA teams...the San Diego team does just as well...with PT Bruiser, Sarkastika and Slamurai. Even the referees and officials are in on it. My favorite was: Thomas Refferson, who wore a tri-cornered hat. A fun game to play during the downtime of the games is to come up with fun Roller Derby names. I decided on “Skatie Holmes” and Joy is trying to decide between “Sioux Sidal” and “Fell-Ani Assault”. Also during the downtime of games, the mascots run around the outside of the track, whipping the crowd into a frenzy, throwing out trinkets. Joy got a flyswatter and a man in a giant lobster suit threw me a beer koozie. Where else but in LA? Of course Phil was there to make jokes about the mascot, “If I was butter, I’d be all over that guy!”
And oh yes...the bout itself. Well, the Fight Crew turned out to be much more formidable opponents for the Swarm than the Varsity Brawlers and the game was at least a game! Unfortunately, in the end, the Swarm left the Fight Crew with a nasty sting. But for two hours, we cheered, hooted, hollered, yelled, stamped our feet, and just really enjoyed ourselves.
So...next bout...April 18th...the Varsity Brawlers vs. the Sirens. Who’s with us??
Jam on!
p.s. As they don't allow cameras into the rink (wahhh!), you'll have to visit the Derby Dolls website to see photos of the girls, the rink and more....all I have is this photo of my koozie.
I was introduced to this culture by my friend Phil, who became a little obsessed with Roller Derby some time in the last year. He’s made it his one-man mission to recruit as many of his friends as possible. Last month, I grumpily accepted his invitation to attend the bout. I had no idea what to expect.
The LA Derby Dolls have their very own roller rink, located downtown, right near Temple and Alvarado. The event was sold out, so we arrived about an hour early to secure our space in the grandstand. I took a wander through the midway – the place where the vendors set up their wares (anything from cookies and pizza to t-shirts, jewelry and crafts) and the band (!) plays during intermission and after the bout. I felt like an alien that had just be dropped into Lollapalooza years ago and wandered around like a little lost deer in the headlights of life. I had no idea that this scene existed...and being attended by a thousand people every month!
I watched the girls warm up on the rink while clutching my program, desperately trying to understand the rules of the game. Joy had tried to explain it to me earlier, utilizing straws to represent skaters. Between the straws and reading the program, I still had no idea how it worked. However, there’s nothing like the actual game to learn pretty quickly! I went from not knowing a thing about Roller Derby to two hours later being able to make comments such as, “No wonder we couldn’t score any points, our jammer couldn’t get past their defenders” and “Good move! She called the jam off!”
Last month, I saw the San Diego Swarm take on the LA Varsity Brawlers. It was a brutal game...and I’m not just talking about the action on the track! The Swarm swarmed all over the Brawlers. Not pretty. But alas, I think I was hooked.
So when the call went out for recruits to the March 28 battle, I was in. The Swarm would be playing again, this time up against LA’s Fight Crew. Phil got a new recruit for the event, Shannon, who joined Joy, Vanessa and me for the big night. She showed up at our meeting place and the first thing I noticed was her choice of footwear - heels. Before my first bout, a few important details were left out by my Derby Dealer. I accosted Shannon, “Did anyone tell you that you’re going to be STANDING all night, right?” While I was leading with the news, I threw in “And you have to pee in a porta-potty.” Two things I wish I had been told...not unmanageable obstacles if adequately prepared.
I had definitely been in Shannon’s shoes before. Well, not her high heels, but not knowing what to expect. Not knowing the rules of the game. And clearly not knowing what was in store. By now, I was a professional. I knew which line to get in. I knew to put a finger on my wrist when they went to “band” me, so that it wouldn’t get too tight. I knew to try and get a spot pretty high up so that we could get a good view of the track. After we found our space, I took Shannon down to the midway. It wasn’t as big as it was last time, so she missed out on some of the cool merch opportunities. But that didn’t lessen her enjoyment at all. All of us soaked it all in. The warm up. The dueling mascots (Giant Bee in a Mexican wrestling mask for the Swarm, and a Lobster for the Fight Crew). The selling of raffle tickets. The great music playing from the DJ. The people watching. The debate about pizza vs. hot dog on a stick. Cookies vs. a banana. These are not easy decisions, people!
Another great part of Roller Derby are the names of the players... Broadzilla, Judy Gloom, Janis Choplin, Tae Kwon Ho, and Mickispeedia play for two of the LA teams...the San Diego team does just as well...with PT Bruiser, Sarkastika and Slamurai. Even the referees and officials are in on it. My favorite was: Thomas Refferson, who wore a tri-cornered hat. A fun game to play during the downtime of the games is to come up with fun Roller Derby names. I decided on “Skatie Holmes” and Joy is trying to decide between “Sioux Sidal” and “Fell-Ani Assault”. Also during the downtime of games, the mascots run around the outside of the track, whipping the crowd into a frenzy, throwing out trinkets. Joy got a flyswatter and a man in a giant lobster suit threw me a beer koozie. Where else but in LA? Of course Phil was there to make jokes about the mascot, “If I was butter, I’d be all over that guy!”
And oh yes...the bout itself. Well, the Fight Crew turned out to be much more formidable opponents for the Swarm than the Varsity Brawlers and the game was at least a game! Unfortunately, in the end, the Swarm left the Fight Crew with a nasty sting. But for two hours, we cheered, hooted, hollered, yelled, stamped our feet, and just really enjoyed ourselves.
So...next bout...April 18th...the Varsity Brawlers vs. the Sirens. Who’s with us??
Jam on!
p.s. As they don't allow cameras into the rink (wahhh!), you'll have to visit the Derby Dolls website to see photos of the girls, the rink and more....all I have is this photo of my koozie.
posted by Princess Leah at 4:15 PM
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