The Princess' Reign Continues!

So the only party foul from my annual birthday celebration is that I seem to have "misplaced" my little wallet that contains my Driver License, Debit card, and about 1000 receipts - ala a Constanza wallet.

I immediately (after calling the Farmers Market, the Gumbo Pot, the Cat Club and Tom Bergins) canceled my Debit card and on the advice of a friend of mine, called one of the Big Three credit companies to place a "fraud alert" on my account. Apparently with just a Driver License, anyone can open any sort of account. A fraud alert is a 90-day "hold" on your credit account - which means that if any accounts are attempted to be opened in your name, you will be called to verify. The best thing is that the one credit company that I called (Equifax) will call the other two companies and pass along the info. Pretty awesome, right? I'll try and forget that they actually tried to sell me some sort of stupid financial protection blabbity blah. Dude, take a look at my freakin' credit rating and you tell me if I can afford to spend additional money on that! C'mon!

My next step was to make an appointment at the DMV. They actually had an appointment available the next morning at 9:50am...bonus! I showed up at the DMV in Hollywood (the one on Cole, not on Vine) at about 9:35am and filled out my application for a duplicate license. I was given a number and was told to wait...which I did for about three whole minutes. The guy behind the counter was a tattoo-laden latino-descent dude who wore a keyring on his arm that jingled whenever he moved. He keyed in all of my info, moved his head toward the computer screen and looked at me. "Are you wearing a CROWN in your photo?" he asked in disbelief. I said "Yes, and I brought it with me again today, just in case I have to take the picture again." (I didn't bother to correct him -that in fact it was a tiara, not a crown. A crown goes all the way around your head - a tiara doesn't.) He shook his head and said "No, it's cool, you can keep the same photo." He processed my paperwork, I paid my twenty bucks and I was out of there by 9:45...I swear. Ten minutes. In and out. AND I get to keep my crown.

It was a good day. Who saw that coming?

Having a Blog Has Finally Paid Off!

I got my first marriage proposal! Take THAT Rupert Everett!

Thank you KingsFan. One day I'll tell you how I nearly broke my finger on an errant puck at a hockey game. That ought to seal the deal. :)

But that's only if you tell me the long story about how you happened upon my blog...

Really?

Are there really enough people who own ferrets in my neighborhood to warrant my local Ralph's grocery store carrying FERRET CHOW?

Go figure.

Well, That's Not What You Want to Hear...

I'm catching up with all of my celebrity gossip tonight - and I stumbled across a lovely quote by Rupert Everett...definitely not something that a never-married straight woman should be reading on the eve-eve of her 43rd birthday...

Unfortunately, I am single. But I'm too exhausted for anything else and being gay is a young man's game. Now no one wants me. Being gay and being a woman has one big thing in common, which is that we both become invisible after the age of 42.

If you want to read more - and I can't imagine why you would...please visit the Queen of All Media's website, Perez Hilton.

If you need me, I'll be at home, frantically erasing my birth year from my birth certificate.

Mine...Mine...ALL MINE...

Today I paid off my car. Finally.

Now I'm not saying that it took a long time to actually OWN my 1998 Honda Accord (reasonable facsimile pictured above), but let me take you on a little journey to the time when I actually took ownership of the vehicle.

I was leaving the next day to go see the Spice Girls (five of them) kick off their world tour in Dublin, Ireland. (For work, not pleasure.)

And in the real world...

• Bill Clinton was in the White House. The Lewinsky story had just broken.
• Lance Armonstrong had not yet won a Tour De France (he went on to win seven times).
• George Clooney could be seen on your TV every week on ER.
• Seinfeld was still on the air - with new episodes, not in syndication.
• Frank Sinatra and JFK Jr. were still alive.
• There were only three Star Wars movies.
• MTV's "The Real World" was the only reality TV show (Survivor wouldn't happen for two more years).
• Viagra was still just a twinkle in the eye of the FDA.
• The Concorde Super Sonic Jet was still flying.
• John Elway had just won his first Super Bowl.
• Titanic was the #1 movie and that damned Celine Dion had the #1 song.
• Puff Daddy (aka P Diddy) had just been nominated for "Best New Artist."
• Shawn Colvin won the Grammy for Best Song of the Year - her thank-you speech was interrupted by Old Dirty Bastard (Big Baby Jesus) - who died six years later in 2004
• Oprah was on trial in Texas for the mad cow/beef incident. It was at this trial that she met Dr. Phil.
• "Columbine" was just the name of a flower.
• Pluto was still considered a planet. (Sorry Bean)

So, in summary, I've been paying for this car for 1,000 years - and have probably paid about $50K for a car worth about a third of that.

But as of today...it's all mine...

My Late-Night Choice

OK, so maybe not everyone agrees with my Late Night TV choice, but I choose - hands down - Jimmy Kimmel. I used to love Dave. But then Dave got TOO bitter. Then Jimmy got a show. I couldn't believe that Jimmy had a show. And then...I fell in love with Jimmy's show. It didn't happen immediately. He was nervous and a bit awkward...but then again, aren't we all?

So, last night was Jimmy's anniversary show. For months and months he's been ending his show with the ridiculous "Apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time." As if they had Matt Damon booked on the show and they spent all this time with the other guests.

At the end of last night's show - he finally nailed the booking of a lifetime. Matt Damon. What a classic resolution to a long-running bit! And for anyone who doesn't think that Matt Damon is a good actor...think again...and please enjoy:

Digital Inspiration

Inspired by my friend Bean's ability to capture interesting images with his camera - I've been taking my camera with me everywhere I go for the last week or so. Here's a few of my results:

flowers on fountain

absinthe spoon

fairy lights reflected on a glass table

spiderwebs

karl in the bounce-house

happy birthday, jack

September When It Comes

This gorgeous song just showed up on my iPod and I thought it was the perfect song for today.

September When it Comes
Rosanne Cash (Featuring Johnny Cash)

There's a cross above the baby's bed,
A Saviour in her dreams.
But she was not delivered then,
And the baby became me.
There's a light inside the darkened room,
A footstep on the stair.
A door that I forever close,
To leave those memories there.

So when the shadows link them,
Into an evening sun.
Well first there's summer, then I'll let you in.
September when it comes.

I plan to crawl outside these walls,
Close my eyes and see.
And fall into the heart and arms,
Of those who wait for me.
I cannot move a mountain now;
I can no longer run.

I cannot be who I was then:
In a way, I never was.

I watch the clouds go sailing;
I watch the clock and sun.
Oh, I watch myself, depending on,
September when it comes.

So when the shadows link them,
And burn away the clouds.
They will fly me, like an angel,
To a place where I can rest.
When this begins, I'll let you know,
September when it comes.