Really?

The Broncos lost?
The Raiders won?
The Cowboys won?


I think I have to call in sick to work.

Trick or Treat??

Help!

I need ideas for a Halloween Costume.

My original idea was blacklisted for being in bad taste.

My other idea might be a bit too obscure. (Olive from Little Miss Sunshine in her "talent show" outfit.)

So. I'm looking for something cheap and cheerful. And ideally, clever.

HELP!!!

Front Row. Fashion Show. Way to Go.

This past Wednesday night, I was a guest at the Elsie Katz Couture fashion show at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. This time a year ago, I had never been to a fashion show ever. Because of designer Donna Baxter, I have now been to three. If you couple that with my viewing of Project Runway, I'm pretty much an authority. Because I'm a friend of the designer, I have somehow managed to snag a front row seat at each of the three shows. Sweet.

For those who don't get the invite, I'll fill you in on what happens. The show takes place at Smashbox Studios. There is virtually no parking around there, so you have to sell your first born child in order to afford the valet parking (paid in advance, thank you). Fifteen bucks. Apparently there is some sort of shuttle, but I don't know anything about it.

Upon entering the event, there is a "photo op" backdrop, where people can (and will) be photographed on their entrance. No one knows me, so I slink past the entrance to check in. The tent is filled with all sorts of companies trying to hock their wares. Cingular, Smashbox Cosmetics, Dasani water, and several alcohol companies. I partake in a Peroni. I tell the guy I can only give him a dollar because the valet guys have taken all of their money. He understands.
I see my friend Bean. He's in line with his dad (the Chief), his cousin, his mysterious daughter and Donna's dad, Howard. I join them in line. We're escorted into the room early. The photographers are setting up and taking their positions. We all find our seats and wait for the rest of the room to take shape.

The photographers pounce on any and all celebrities - of all levels. I see several actresses (?) posing for a plethora of pictures.

Here is actress Arielle Kebelle posing for some photogs.












Here is Kelly Hu - being blinded by about a thousand cameras.






Then it's time for the show. There are only about a million cameras at the end of the runway. No pressure!














The music starts. The models start pouring out of the backstage area. They are dressed beautifully. They have expressionless faces. (I can only assume that Donna told them to think about math.) They stroll down the runway in their FLAT, no-heeled sandals (way to go Donna!!), pose for the photographers, and then stroll back up as another model is sprung from the backstage area. Because of my location, I can see the emotionless models leave the stage and bolt to get their next costume change. It's good to see that they have an actual pulse. In the last third of the show (when the models are already wearing their finale outfits), they leave the stage with a whole different energy. They dance, they hop, they love their jobs.

It's the finale. Model after model on the runway, showing off their gorgeous and creative outfits. The collection is beautiful. I am in awe of Donna's work, as always. I think about Fashion Week as Thanksgiving. A ton of work, and it's over in ten minutes.

Donna appears on the runway. One of the models takes Donna's hand and leads her down the runway. Brava!

And it's over. Just like that. We wait afterwards to see Donna. I catch up with Richard Cheese (hi Mark) and Mark Thompson from Channel 11.

The (almost) best part of the night is that a bunch of us are going to go to dinner afterwards - and that dinner is Roscoe's. There's one about a third of a mile from my house. I get there and tell them that there are about ten of us coming. They can't seat us until we all arrive. So I sit outside and read my program from the fashion show. And I read it again. And again. And again. Again. Again. Again. A waitress comes out to talk to me. "Honey, you alright? You want a biscuit o' somethin'?" I think she thinks I'm homeless. I wait for about 45 minutes.

Bean calls. He has good news and bad news. The good news is that I'm at Roscoe's. The bad news is that no one told their driver that they wanted to go, so they're now at their hotel in Santa Monica. Dude.

I tell the biscuit waitress of my dilemma and ask how I can order something to go. Then I decide, eff it...and get a seat in Mama's section. She takes care of me.

So, all in all an excellent night. Fantastically beautiful clothes and one delicious waffle.

One Succulent Breast, One Delicious Waffle

Personal to Bean:

Bite me.

A Traffic Lesson

Here's a question for all drivers out there:

You're driving on the freeway in the right lane and want to exit at the next exit. But before that happens, another car is trying to enter the freeway from the right, from the previous exit's onramp. What do you do?

a. realize that you're going to decrease your speed soon enough, so you slow down and let the other car (which needs to increase speed to be on the freeway, and is now trapped in an "exit only" lane) in front of you.

b. hit the gas and not let the other car in - only to piss the driver* off when they have to fall in behind you, only to have you slow down in about 5 seconds to get off the freeway.

If you choose B, then you are a bad person.

*Yes, I am always the driver in the "I want to merge onto the freeway" car. And When I am Queen, everyone who does "B" will immediately be shot. (To maim, not kill. C'mon, I'm not a crazy dictator Queen.)

All Hail Columbus!

If it were not for Chris Columbus, "Gremlins" and "Goonies" would never have been written.

"Adventures in Babysitting", "Home Alone", "Mrs. Doubtfire" and the first two Harry Potter movies would not have been directed.

It is because of this, that we honor you, Chris Columbus, on this day - October 9.

I'm not sure why I get the day off (along with banks, the Post Office and some schools), but I'm not complaining.

The Day the Music (retailer) Died...

It's the end of an era.

Today, Tower Records was auctioned off to the highest bidder - which turned out to be a company called Great American. As a result of said auction, all Tower Records stores will begin "out-of-business" sales starting tomorrow.

This is a sad day for the record industry. Tower Records was one of the first national uber-stores. The stores were huge. You could get whatever you wanted in any of the stores. They had space for in-store performances and autograph signings. They had it all.

I remember the first time I saw a Tower Records. It was 1984. I was working at a record store in Georgetown, Washington DC. Bruce Springsteen had just released "Born in the USA." The record company had done a contest where the best display won a trip to anywhere in the USA. Guess who won? Me! I decided that I didn't need to use all $1000 of the record company's money...I would simply ask for front row tickets to a Springsteen concert in the Mid-Atlantic region and be done with it. The guy at the label said "I can't get you that," so I decided to use as much as the $1000 as I could, and try and see Bruce Springsteen somewhere else in the USA. Again, he told me he couldn't get me tickets. (A-hole.) I decided to go to Los Angeles. First time for everything, right? I flew to LA, rented a car, stayed in a nice hotel - just a few blocks from the Sunset strip.

My first night in LA, I decided to go the famous Tower Records on Sunset. I wandered around awhile and decided to speak to some of the employees - record store employee to record store employee. I asked them if they knew how to get any tickets to see Springsteen. They told me that all of the shows were sold out, but his band and crew - but not him - was staying at the Sunset Marquis.

I had brought my tour program with me from home - I had bought it at a show in Maryland. I looked in the credits and found the name of his tour manager and proceeded to write a letter- to tell him why I was here and that I wanted a ticket. I walked to the Sunset Marquis, which was about three blocks from where I was staying, and dropped off the letter for the tour manager.

A couple of hours later, I got a call from the Tour Manager's assistant. He had a ticket for me to see the show at the LA Sports Arena. I flipped OUT! I couldn't believe that they were giving me a ticket to a way-sold-out-show. I wrote a 'thank you note' and proceeded to take it to the hotel. As I approached the hotel, I saw both Danny Federici and Garry Tallent. The reality of the situation was starting to hit me. I went into the lobby and waited for someone to greet me at the front desk. In the meantime, I glanced out at the swimming pool and saw a familiar gait. Oh. My. God. It's. Effing. Bruce. Springsteen!!!

"I'd like to leave this for a hotel guest," I said to the clerk at the hotel. "Can I go out there to the pool area?" The clerk nodded. I walked out to the pool and walked right up to...I can barely get the words out...Bruce Springsteen. I said "Excuse me..." and proceeded to tell him my story. He said "Are you the girl from Maryland that won the contest?" I stepped back in shock and said "Yes!" He turned to the people sitting with him and said "They flew you all the way out here but didn't get you tickets to the show? Now what kinda contest is that?" He knew who I was and why I was there. It blew my mind. I asked him if I could have a hug - he replied, "Of course you can." And that's about all I remember. I went to the show at the Sports Arena and had an amazing time.

If it weren't for the folks at Tower Records, I would have never have known. Any of it.

I've done my "time" at Tower. I can't even begin to tell you how awful it was to have to inventory classical records (LPs) at the Tower in DC in 1984 - every MONTH! At that same Tower, we had them to do an in-store with Branford Marsalis, and then begged them to take another artist named Harry Connick, Jr. The first in-store performance that I ever did was with Mary Chapin Carpenter. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Over the years, I've had my share of memories. As a customer, as a label, and again as a customer.

I can't believe that in about a half hour...that memory will start to be sold off, piece by piece...

Behold the Termite!

It is because of he (or she) that I have a day off of work on Friday!

We spent this afternoon putting everything in plastic bags (times two) and opening all drawers and cabinets. Tomorrow, the nice men with the circus tent come over and suck out all of the oxygen in the house to make the termites (and hopefully the ants) go away.

All I know is that I get the day off. And that's a good thing.

No. No. No. No. NO!

High Fidelity - The Musical

This is wrong on so many levels. I don't even know what to say. All you have to do is watch the "Top Five Breakups" video and try to imagine John Cusack singing this. This truly can't be what Nick Hornby was ever thinking, is it?

I have to go scrub my eyeballs now.